Meet Kwak-Kwak and Doggie, two of Maru’s toys that Mike and I initially planned to use to teach him songs and the English alphabet.
Kwak-Kwak is a battery-operated puppet that “kwaks”…err, sings “Old McDonald” when manipulated. Mike is Kwak-Kwak’s puppeteer, hence KK speaks English in falsetto and with funny Chinese accent (because that’s how Mike speaks English, hehe).
Doggie, on the other hand, is a stuffed toy and Maru’s sleeping buddy (together with Mickey Mouse). I am his master puppeteer and he speaks with Irish accent. He likes smelling Kwak-Kwak’s “arse” while he hates it when KK calls him Catfish.
Obviously, the plan to use these toys as educational tools went awry. Because KK and Doggie kept on bickering, Maru eventually lost interest and decided to play with his other toys instead.
Sample impromptu bikerings of Kwak-Kwak and Doggie:
KK: I’m a Peking Duck. I’m from China.
Dog: You’re not a duck. You have that orange thingy on your head. You’re a chick!
KK: I am? But I’m from China! (sad) I must be a “pekeng” duck.
KK: Hey dog! They’re going to make you into a hotdog! Hahahahahahaha! (KK has the funniest, most annoying laugh)
Dog: Oh yeah? Hotdogs are not made of dogs silly bird! But I know I’m hot.
KK: You don’t look like a dog. You look like a catfish! Catfish! Catfish! Catfish! Hahahahahaha!
Doggie attacks KK and engages her into a bloody puppet fight. The fierceness of their battle, however, eventually led to intense lovemaking (between the Irish dog and the Chinese chick, not of their puppeteers). Happy ending.
* Disclaimer: Maru did not witness the lovemaking between dog and chick because he thought his parents’ puppetry was too idiotic to pay attention to. So don’t worry, no innocence was lost…except perhaps KK’s and Doggie’s.